Trapt!

Today was our last day in Melbourne before picking the Kombi up from her three-day beauty treatment.

We wandered the beautiful streets of Melbourne, first up... visiting the Old Gaol where Ned Kelly was hanged. Poor guy. Daph has a soft spot for the fair-go underdog.

Daph and Ern always seem to gravitate towards jails when sightseeing. And after every visit, we come away feeling even more embarrassed to be associated with mankind. The history of civilisation is barbaric and ridiculous. We learned that you could be locked up for having no fixed abode or no money. And you could receive a good lashing for refusing to eat your bread. The guys that made the rules up are more criminal than the guys locked up. The pompous higher classes, in all their arrogance, are the ones that need solitary confinement. Sadly, we still have to adhere to rules and regulations that are made up by criminals. Not much has changed. Except that now the homeless and less privileged don’t get lashings, they get ignored.

Anyhow, after that bright and breezy revelation, we decided to treat ourselves to lunch in China Town... deeeeelicious. And then we visited “Trapt” and challenged ourselves in a Harry Potter-inspired escape room. Awesome! We escaped with three minutes to spare. Daph and Ern are a stellar team. But we knew that already.

We treated ourselves again for dinner. We’ve had salivating aromas wafting in through the window of our apartment from the Indian takeaway next door for three days now, and we finally gave in. Double deeeelicious. Though rather hot and spicy...

Daph: “My lips feel funny. Are they swollen? I think I’ve had an allergic reaction.”

Ern: “Your lips look fine.”

Daph: “Are you sure? They feel massive!”

Ern: “It’s going to be just as hot coming out of the other end.”

Daph: “I cannot be held responsible for any bottom burps tonight.”

Ern: “Great!”

***

Daph and Ern’s Absurd Anecdotes:

Daph has dodgy feet. Aside from the hideous bunions and corns caused by being on her feet for twelve hours straight whilst at work, years of playing soccer have rendered her big toes unbendable. Ern likes to periodically crack Daph’s toes, insisting this is good for them, gaining as much pleasure from it as popping bubble wrap.

Daph: “Do you have to?!” after Ern cracks her toes before she’s finished her first cup of tea of the morning. This is dangerous territory. Especially considering that Daph only got three hours of sleep last night. This was due to the workmen who decided 2.00 a.m. was a good time to get the jackhammer out and dismantle the pavement right under our apartment window.

Ern: “That feels better though, doesn’t it?”

Daph: “NO!! It doesn’t,” *Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp.

Ern: “I’ll make you another cuppa, shall I?”

Ern has suggested that Daph should have a nap several times today. She is very testy. Could be the lack of sleep. Could be the toe cracking.