Phillip Island

Daph and Ern have discovered that, on their quest to escape the rat race, they can never escape knob wrenches.

We spent the last two nights on Phillip Island, lolling around, just plain chillaxing, and taking in the wonders of nature. We saw koalas and seals and (the highlight for Daph) the little penguins. So damn adorable. We could’ve watched them for hours, struggling out of the ocean and waddling uphill to their burrows. So cute.

But, despite the park rangers repeatedly requesting that everyone stay seated, be quiet and not take photos (so as not to scare the little fellas), we were surrounded by a pack of arseholes with complete disregard for the rules. It’s no wonder the children were unruly ferals when their parents are just as undisciplined… trying to catch the hovering seagulls by their legs (what are you going to do with it once you’ve caught it?) with a big grin on their face like they’re impressing someone; standing up and shouting “There’s a penguin, quick kids, get in the picture,” then lining up their snotty faced kids in the forefront of an illegal penguin photo, and leaning over the fence making clicking noises with their fingers and tongues to try to get the penguins to face the camera. Knobs.

We had to leave before Daph lost her patience with the parasitic delinquents and clipped one of the disrespectful toe rags around the head with the back of her hand.