Murder in the Outback

Daph is amazed at how much rubbish is on the roadside across the Nullarbor, despite there being more rubbish bins than public toilets. The most common item is urine-filled bottles. Either that or everyone who crosses the Nullarbor only drinks half their orange fizz before lobbing the bottle out of the window. Daph thinks it’s better to just pull over to pee in the bush and take your bottles home. Though Daph chooses to hold on to her bladder until the next roadhouse. The last time she got her knickers off on the side of the road, she got eaten alive by green ants, only to find an elusive public toilet two kilometres up the road.

We spotted an abandoned car about twenty metres off the road, parked in the bush. Not in a purpose-built parking spot... just randomly sideways in the bush. There didn’t appear to be anyone in it, or around it. We were too scared to pull over and check it out because we had watched “Murder in The Outback”[1] on television, whilst snuggled in the motel room the night before. We drove on and reported it to the lady at the Caiguna Roadhouse, who seemed unmoved by Daph’s grisly assumptions. She suggested informing the Police who “probably won’t come out, anyway.” It played on Daph’s conscience the whole way, so she phoned the police, and they will check it out. Fingers crossed it’s just an abandoned rust bucket that would cost more to tow than it’s worth.

Today was a long drive, made longer by the jump forward into the Australian Central Standard Time zone, and the entire Nullarbor kangaroo population being on the road. We had our own Australian safari going on, with every thirsty little creature coming out to drink from the rain puddles on the road.

We saw eagles, a wombat, a dingo trying to drag a dead “something” off the road, and more kangaroos than Ern’s old ticker could take. It’s no wonder there are so many dead kangaroos on the Nullarbor. The truck drivers aren’t as conscientious as Ern, who slowed down to a walking pace for every kangaroo. They don’t move off the roads when they see you coming. They stand up on their back legs, engage in eye contact and then zone out...

Kanga: “Is that a car?”

Roo: “Nah.”

Kanga: “I think it’s a car.”

Roo: “Nah, mate.”

Kanga: “It’s definitely a car. We should move.”

Roo: “You reckon?”

Kanga: “Yeah. Probably.”

Roo: “All right then. You go first.”

Kanga: “Nah. You go first.”

No kangaroos were harmed on our journey, amazingly.

Tonight, we are staying at the beautiful Eucla Roadhouse, in a room with a view of the ocean. This is the only roadhouse on the Nullarbor worth the one hundred and sixty dollars they charge. Truly four-star.

Tomorrow, we attempt to cross the border.

[1] A documentary based on the alleged murder of a tourist driving a Kombi van through outback Australia.