Boob Sweat and Bottom Burps

And we’re off!

We have loved catching up with friends and family and welcoming our beautiful new grandson during our thirteen weeks at home. But it’s time to pack up the Kombi and hit the road again.

We had good intentions of camping and sightseeing around our home base while we were back, but unfortunately, the out-of-control bushfires put paid to those plans. We were meant to set off on Monday. But our first two nights were going to be spent in Murramarang National Park, which is now sadly closed due to the bushfires. However, this meant we were, thankfully, home to farewell Ern’s dear grandmother on Tuesday, who will be travelling with us in spirit.

And the least important reason for our departure being delayed... waiting for Daph’s hiking boots to arrive in the post. Ordered four weeks ago, they arrived just as we finished packing the Kombi up, ready to leave, with the help of The Universe and a dash of manifestation.

So, we are all set for our next run of adventures. Daph can’t wait to see how far ahead of Ern she can trek in her nifty new hiking boots. Good times are ahead. Stay tuned.

***

What a loooooong day! This time, we are headed south. One might have thought to cooler pastures than Far North Queensland. Nup. It is sweltering.

The old girl survived in the 40-degree heat.

The Kombi did all right, too.

She was loving being back on the road again with the wind in her roof racks. We plodded along at our top speed of ninety kilometres an hour, playing kiss-chase with the semi-trailers, up and down hills along the Hume Highway. Hours upon hours of sheep paddocks, where the poor little lambs fought over tufts of grass on this dry, barren land. No raging bushfires in this area, but the air is still smoky.

We only just made it to our stopover destination in Coolac before the office closed. We were greeted by the delightful Mrs. Sullivan for our overnight farm stay, accompanied by Oscar, the sheepdog who has adopted us for the night. It is still a balmy thirty-five degrees at 9.00 p.m. With no breeze. And no air-con. But Daph and Ern don’t care. They are happy as pigs in mud to be back on the road again.

***

Our first night in the Kombi was a success, despite the heat. We surprisingly set up without a hitch. We are usually very rusty to start with. Must be getting good at this lark.

We stayed at Coolac Cabins and Camping, run by a farming family who are doing it tough due to the droughts. They have converted a back paddock into a camping ground. And they’ve done a bloody good job. The amenities were outstanding. Better quality showers and toilets than a caravan park! Highly recommended.

After a refreshingly cold shower, Daph hung her bra over the wing mirror overnight to dry out the boob sweat. In the morning, the bees were congregating in the cups, collecting the salty goodness.

Ern: “There are bees on your bra, my little sugar tits,” then continues, expectantly, “Doesn’t hanging underwear on the door handle of your hotel room mean ‘Do not disturb’ because there’s some hanky-panky going on?” *Ern gives Daph a wink.

Daph: *Giving Ern the hairy eye, questionably, “Does it?”

Ern: *Back peddling, “Not that I’ve ever done it myself...”

There was no time for hanky-panky this morning. We needed to set off before the temperature rose. It’s forecast to be another 40-degree day today. Onwards to Beechworth.

***

Daph and Ern’s Absurd Anecdotes:

As the story goes, Daph is a champion bottom burper. Maintaining her decorum for a grand total of two weeks at the beginning of Daph and Ern’s love story, she finally couldn’t contain herself anymore and explained to Ern that she had to freely let rip for the sake of comfort. Luckily, it wasn’t a deal-breaker, and Ern has become accustomed to Daph’s frequent outbursts, even going so far as to critique and name them.

Ern is yet to de-gas in front of Daph. He is much classier. But when he does pass wind in private, he attempts to describe it to Daph in the hope of impressing her with fairy tales of the legendary status of his unheard farts.

Daph returns from her morning ablutions...

Ern: “Oh babe, you should’ve heard it,” and proceeds to recreate the back-door symphony using his mouth to impress Daph.

Daph: “Yeah. Sure.”