Bees Stings and Buttocks

Man, it’s a hot one! It was forty degrees on the road to Beechworth. The Kombi was struggling to air-cool its engine, as were Daph and Ern. Air-cooling with hot air doesn’t really air-cool. It blow-dries.

No trip to Beechworth is complete without a Bee-Sting[1] for breakfast. Not our usual healthy start to the day, but when your life is a holiday... you do holiday stuff sometimes.

The majority of our time in Beechworth was spent at the caravan park, hopping in and out of cold showers without drying, staying wet for about five minutes until the heat dried us off again. That is the extent of our mod cons. Daph must admit she has missed the home comfort of air conditioning during the past two days.

Here we met the real-life Fred and Wilma[2], Grey Nomads who are also on their way south to escape the heat. Migrating with the seasons in the perpetual search for the perfect climate.

Setting off early to escape the heat. Onwards to Melbourne.

***

The Bee Sting for breakfast seemed like a good idea at the time. But an hour later, Daph’s bowels disagreed. Having been mostly free of refined sugar and gluten in our diet for the past year, the overload was too much. Daph was not her usual liberal self in the back-door symphony department, for fear of following through. Buttocks clenched. The pelvic floor is being tested on the bumpy drive.

Daph: “Ooooh. Glenrowan! That’s where Ned Kelly’s last stand was,” remembering back to her university days and her Australian history thesis: “Ned Kelly - Convicted Criminal or People’s Hero?” Daph convinced Ern to take a detour off the route in search of the kitschy town filled with all things Ned Kelly[3].

Daph: “I bet there’s a giant Ned Kelly.”

Daph likes both miniature and giant things.

And... yes, there was a giant Ned Kelly. And Ned Kelly everywhere.

We decided not to pay the thirty-five dollars to watch the animatronic re-enactment of Ned Kelly’s last stand at the museum. It was too hot to sit for forty-five minutes in the sun. But the museum will get their custom today, as a busload of Chinese tourists turned up just as we were heading off. Of course, they had to get their obligatory selfie with our Kombi. Sorry, Ned, the Kombi stole your thunder.

With Ern’s beard, it was a no-brainer that we should get a back-in-time photo shoot. Ern makes a good bushranger. Daph makes an alright floozie.

Back on the road. Buttocks still clenched.

[1] A Bee-Sting is a delicious bakery treat, full of gluten, sugar, and cream. Not the healthiest of breakfasts. [2] The Flintstones. Remember them? Fancy being a couple called Fred and Wilma! Funny. [3] Ned Kelly was an infamous Australian bushranger. A Robin Hood, anti-establishment kind of criminal that has won the hearts of Australians despite his convicted murderer status. Keeping in line with my pop-culture themes, you could watch Mick Jagger’s portrayal of the fair-go anti-hero in the 1970 movie. Or not.