Art Critics

Sooooo... today was interesting.

We started and ended our day in a pod of darkness with complete sensory deprivation and had all manner of sensory overload in between.

First stop, Hobart Float Spa, where we indulged in floatation therapy. For an hour we were locked in a pod, floating in Epsom salt water in complete silence and darkness. It’s very disconcerting, to begin with. But once you relax into it, the induced sensory deprivation triggers the deepest relaxation state you can experience. As if we couldn’t get any more relaxed, we followed this with a couple’s massage. Spoiling ourselves to the max. We deserve it.

Then we hopped on the Mona Roma Ferry in the “Posh Pit” and indulged in complimentary beverages and snacks on our way to the museum. Daph and Ern felt like frauds looking around the Museum. We thought we could appreciate art. But we struggled in the MONA.

The MONA is interesting. It has frequently been featured in the news due to its controversial exhibits. The owner, David Walsh, has gone on record saying, “Outrage is good for business.” MONA is a discombobulating mix of artworks that confuse, disgust, and disturb you. It was an altogether uncomfortable experience, which Daph supposes is what the artists were going for. Whilst the other patrons would stand for a while, pondering a particular piece for its meaning and genius, Daph and Ern took most of it at face value with critiquing such as, “It’s shit,” “That’s rubbish,” and “This one’s OK.”

We did find some things we liked:

The bust of Captain Cook with a terrorist balaclava. Poignant.

And the zoetrope inside a massive head called Artifact. Clever.

And the best one, James Turrell’s interactive “Unseen Seen and Weight of Darkness” ...

Initially, we must sign a lengthy waiver promising not to sue the artist if we suffer long-term side effects. Okay. That done, we are sealed inside a large white orb, where we lay on a double bed and stare at the ceiling. We are then subjected to a series of flashing lights that confuse our brains and cause kaleidoscopic hallucinations. Tripping! Following this, we are directed down a pitch-black corridor, fumble around to find the two chairs that are apparently there, and then sit in complete silence and darkness for the second time today. This time, the sensory deprivation is not so relaxing, due to the previous sensory overload.

Although there were some exhibits that Daph and Ern appreciated, it was mostly a whole bunch of “what the f**k?!” The MONA gift shop even admitted as much with a series of souvenir books with titles such as:

Art from MONA: that is probably not art.

Art from MONA: that your child could have made.

Art from MONA: that is arguably immoral.

Some choice pieces that would have featured prominently in these books were the cardboard cubby house containing wigs on an old carpet, and a series of “flowers” made from animal parts, like baby mouse heads and chicken tongues?!

Ern: “Sometimes I wish I had the intelligence to appreciate art.”

Daph: “I don’t think it’s intelligence. I think it’s stupidity.”