Abbey Road

The drive to the border was lovely, despite there being practically nothing to look at. The sky was the most vivid blue, the air was clean, and there is a beautiful energy out here on these deserted plains.

Ern began the journey humming the tune from Macgyver, until Daph got permission to put some tunes on. Daph usually has to wait for Ern’s go-ahead for singalong music... he likes to listen to the Kombi to hear for any new rattles or hums that aren’t quite right. And when Daph puts music on, she inevitably ends up singing at the top of her voice, thereby drowning out any unusual Kombi noise, deterring Ern’s psychic mechanic abilities. So, it’s a good sign that Ern is feeling confident when Daph gets DJ rights.

Daph had requested that Ern keep an eye out for photo opportunities, knowing his penchant for driving past anything of interest without stopping. He did drive straight past the large animal skeleton that Daph wanted to explore. “Is that a dinosaur?” We surmised it could be the remains of a camel, based on the size of its rib cage.

Alas, no live camels. No live much, to be honest. The only wildlife we saw were two large lizards. We concluded they must be on top of the food chain and have eaten all the camels, kangaroos, and wombats, as opposed to eating their normal diet of flies. They obviously aren’t eating flies based on the vast quantity of them out here.

Ern did manage to stop for the pedestrian crossing though. Pedestrian crossing?! Why on Earth would you need a pedestrian crossing on the Nullarbor? Ern suggested it was because you could see the ocean from that point so people might want to cross the road for a better view. As if being three metres closer to the sliver of the ocean in the far distance would give a better photo shot. Daph doesn’t think there’s ever enough traffic on this road to not be able to cross it safely without a pedestrian crossing. We found out that they are markers for aeroplanes because the road doubles up as an emergency landing strip for the Flying Doctor medical services. We stopped for an Abbey Road[1] inspired photo opportunity and moved on.

The most spectacular stop was the Bunda Cliffs. If it wasn’t for the flies, Daph could’ve looked at them all day. But the second you step out of the Kombi, you are swarmed. And they always find your ears and nostrils. We have developed the windmill and windscreen wiper techniques to keep them at bay with the flailing of our arms. Ern thinks he will have developed Arnold Schwarzenegger muscles by the time we leave here.

And so, on to the border, where the police are donned in fly nets rather than coronavirus PPE[2]... sensible. And following rigorous checking of our paperwork, and a phone call to the Chief Inspector, we are allowed to continue our journey. We must self-quarantine for fourteen days from this point. We have permission to stop for petrol and overnight rests, making sure to stay 1.5 metres from anyone else (not hard out here), and we must quarantine in our hospital digs for the remainder of the fourteen days on arrival.

We pulled up at the Eucla Hotel Motel for the night. The lady at the check-in suggested the room with a view but warned it only had twin beds, not a double bed for us to share.

Ern: *Turning to Daph, “It’s up to you.”

Daph felt this was a test. Does she choose the room with a view over snuggling with Ern? Hmmmmm. Daph suggested they could still snuggle in one of the king-single beds and chose the view.

We didn’t snuggle, though. Daph and Ern slept in separate beds, and Daph spent the night reaching across to poke a snoring Ern with her novelty thong-shaped fly swatter.

[1] It should be common knowledge, but in case you’re not a Beatles fan, the cover of their album Abbey Road is an iconic photo of the band walking single file across the road via a pedestrian crossing. Classic. [2] Personal Protective Equipment.